Welcome to the Wednesday Tradition Meeting for A Safe Place For Recovery.
My name is Sarah, and I am your chair for this meeting.
Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Suggested Welcome
Suggested Preamble to the 12 Steps
Al-Anon 12 Steps
Al-Anon Traditions
Al-Anon Concepts of Service
3 Obstacles to Success
Cross Talk
Meeting Topic: Tradition One- Our common welfare should come first: personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
Conference Approved Literature (CAL)
When I first came to Al-Anon I didn’t understand the value of “us”. Growing up with alcoholism left me accustomed to isolation, a way of life which continued in my marriage for many years. I grew bitter, resentful, and angry. I was so focused on being a victim that I didn’t think anyone else mattered but me. Broken and unable to get beyond what others had done to me, I came to Al-Anon.
From A Little Time for Myself-A Collection of Al-Anon Personal Experiences, Page Number 15, Copyright 2023 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.
My Share
Tradition One reminds me of unity and community. Growing up in alcoholism and marrying an alcoholic, I have found myself isolating often and going inward. The only one I could rely on was myself so I suffered silently for years. I did not understand and fully experience that coming together with others was healing. Attending my first Al-Anon meeting, years prior was anxiety provoking and part of that anxiety was because I didn’t trust people. I was used to staying silent and being alone with my feelings and experiences. However I grew tired of this approach. This is when I began reaching out and opening myself up to making changes. I attended meetings, bought and read CAL, journaled, prayed, and ultimately let myself connect to others in this fellowship. I find our slogan, “Sharing is Caring” is a real thing. When I share, I open myself up and when others share, I gain a great deal.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for your service this quarter, Sarah, and for today’s lead.
I was always distrustful and holding back at school, work, or in social groups. “Our common welfare” is a beautiful phrase to me because of the safety to flourish that it implies. What I am learning over my years in the safety of Al-Anon groups and service is that achieving our common welfare means listening to each other to find out what each of us needs. It is not a matter of suppressing what does not fit the overall pattern, or of looking out for myself at other’s expense, as in my FOO and so many other areas of life. Working toward our common welfare can take lot of hard work, trying to understand each other and find solutions that work for everyone. But l get so much more from groups when we can all safely open up as our real selves, and be considerate and supportive of each other.
Thank you, Sarah, for your service and lead.
I am 2 days into Al-Anon and already learning so much. To hear/read that I am not alone is very powerful. For years, I’ve felt like I have to be strong, have to disguise my husband’s drinking or make excuses, or just not let anyone get close to me so they can’t find out how bad it is. I am used to certain safe spaces actually being safe as my religious group has this rule, so I don’t feel nervous to share here, for which I am grateful. And it is a huge relief to make the connection of community and safe space regarding my journey to becoming whole again.
But it’s not just my journey, it’s all of ours. By sharing, we all learn something. It might be a small kernel of truth or a huge awakening or anything in between. I don’t fully understand all of traditions yet, not even a little bit. I do know I am already so incredibly blessed to have found my way here and I appreciate all of you.
Thank you.
I can still find myself marveling at how I felt when I finally got so desperate over my brother-in-law’s drinking that I started to explore Al-Anon. I found out our library had a copy of “How Al-Anon Works for Family and Friends of Alcoholics” and checked it out. I knew from having read and studied how affective Al-Anon was (and I had evidence of that among my own family members and friends, but, for some reason, I was skeptical about its ability to work for me). I don’t know exactly why, but I was afraid. I think I thought my story was different. After all, to my knowledge, I’d never lived with an active alcoholic (although I wonder now if my father may not have been a high-functioning A, as so many of his generation were). But I opened that book, began reading, and began to heal. By the time I finished it, I was on the path to gaining back my sanity.
That book epitomizes for me the common welfare approach of Al-Anon. The first half outlines how the program parts (like the Steps) are and how they work, what the guiding principles are, and how the Program is all about you, the one who is here, not the alcoholic. The rest of the book is ESH, where I couldn’t believe I was finding people who’d been through exactly what I had, who had feelings that mirrored mine. I just felt such relief to have discovered a place where everyone was being so open and honest and working for the good of anyone who’d been touched by this disease. It’s this combination of the practical guidelines and the personal (reflected everywhere in the Program) that makes it possible for us to work for the common welfare. I read the book and soon began my daily participation in ASPFR.
Thanks for letting me share, and for everyone here where we all work for our common welfare.
Thank you Sarah, for your service this quarter and for your lead. For me focusing on “Our Common Welfare” required me to trust. Something I wasn’t doing with others when I first arrived at Al-Anon. It took me some time to see and feel the unconditional mutual respect that most members have for one another. Being able to tell my truths, and without getting back some sort of response that negates what I am feeling was a nice start. Sharing was extremely difficult for me at first, esp. in FTF meetings. Time gave me the grace to become comfortable with that and laid the foundation of trust that grew for me toward the other members, resulting in respecting them as they respect me. I began to see that the principles, including that of the focus on the common welfare of all, made sense and if applied helped the group avoid discord. I see respect for others, especially in times when not all agree, can be a cornerstone for success when the other principles are used in conjunction. Our Traditions are teaching me so much and how I can incorporate them into my daily life, not just in work, school or outside groups where I am expected to cooperate. My personal relationships require this respect even more, although I have found that this area is where it can be the least implemented. Plenty for me to think about today. Thanks for listening. – Carol
I like this Tradition because it not includes the goal of common welfare and what’s best for the most, but how. The how is in a unified way. Infused in the Traditions and Concepts are unifying spiritual values of mutual respect, kindness, compassion, listening, open-mindedness, humility. When I agree to something in Al-Anon after a group conscience that might not be my personal preference, I do it without resentment but willingly with these spiritual principles in mind. And I can try to carry this attitude to other groups I’m in, even those that might not fully adhere to our spiritual principles. Thanks for the meeting and your service, Sarah, and for you all. Allen